So Many Goodbyes, Yet the Ties Still Bind Me

Letting go feels simple. Similar to breathing or blinking it is discussed as though everyone should be able to do it. We were reassured that life will eventually make sense once more that we will feel lighter and that it will make sense to move on. Saying goodbye can often seem like a straightforward act to end relationships and start over but what if it becomes a burden long after the person has left?  We go through this process every day sometimes for years and abandoning someone isnt a decision we make once. Saying goodbye is a common occurrence but how many people actually learn how to leave? 

Many people think that saying goodbye creates a clean slate and brings closure. In actuality though saying goodbye need not be final. Its usually a tether that holds you in place even when you feel free or a word left hanging that opens a door just a bit. Saying goodbye turning around and vanishing is easy but its harder to feel it in the parts of your heart and mind that matter most. And so, here you are, wrestling with how to leave, even as you tell yourself you already have.  

The Tug of War Between Logic and Emotion

You can logically see why you ought to depart. You might have practiced the reasons in your mind so many times that you cant even count. You tell yourself everything you wish were true including the advice to leave since its the brave and healthy thing to do. The rift or fracture that exists somewhere between the heart and the mind however cannot be repaired by logic. Similar to how longing tugs at the edges of your resolve the possibility of coming back seems more alluring than the possibility of running away. While logic whispers the voice of longing is like a thunderous weight pressing down until you're not sure where youre headed. It ought to be simple to leave but longing makes things more difficult and makes you less determined. It connects you to places you know you shouldn't be and to people who have gone far beyond your reach. You say goodbye to them, but you’re still saying hello to the memories, to the way things used to be. 

I thought I understood what it meant to let go. Two years ago, he left, and I let him go with a simple goodbye, as if that word could really make a difference. I convinced myself I’d come far, that I’d made peace with it all. Yet, deep down, it felt like I hadn’t moved at all, as if I were still stuck in that moment when he walked away. 

Time passed without pushing me forward; instead, it seemed to hold me in place. I kept telling myself I was fine, that I had healed, but I was fooling myself. I knew how to say goodbye, but I never learned how to leave. Memories haunted me, and the words I thought would set me free only held me back. 

Goodbye vs. Moving Forward 

Saying goodbye might seem like the end of a chapter but moving on requires more than just words. It takes time and often a new understanding of what it means to let go. As we might expect saying goodbye need not be the end. It’s okay to carry pieces of people with us, to hold onto memories, but it’s essential to find a way to live without them weighing us down. 

Letting go often revolves around acceptance rather than forgetting. It’s about discovering how to coexist with the past without allowing it to dictate our future. 

Leaving means stepping into an unfamiliar setting free of familiar faces comfortable routines and well-traveled paths. Instead of letting go of the past the true struggle might be in dreading what lies ahead. It is challenging because saying goodbye takes away our sense of certainty and familiarity. They leave us in the silence of a journey we dont know where every choice is mysterious and every step seems uncertain. Perhaps though we can find something worthwhile to hold onto in that emptiness—not the safety of the past but the courage to consider the possibilities. 

Saying goodbye does not mean you will never feel what you did it just makes space for you to experience something new. Its normal to have difficulties moving on and thats okay. The most crucial thing is to take your time and navigate this process on your own. Instead of erasing someone the aim of leaving them is to learn how to live with their memory in a way that keeps you moving forward with a sense of lightness. When you look back youll be amazed at how far you've come even though the journey seemed difficult at the time. You might eventually find true freedom.